Choosing Love over Fear

It is said that all emotions can be filtered down to either LOVE or FEAR. Psychology today says “there are only two primal emotions in the human being, love and fear, and we cannot feel both at once… in the same way that light removes darkness, love can remove fear.” It goes on to say,

“Love over fear is a choice every time



How does that look in the real world? In everyday life? Sometimes it’s hard when we talk like this. It kind of makes love the hero and fear the enemy. It kind of brings us shame or the idea that we are never supposed to feel fear which is impossible or that when we do we are doing something wrong. So, I want to break down the concept of love versus Fear into three parts


  1. First, we must understand the mental body and the emotional body.

The mental body is the part of us that thinks. It’s different from the brain, although the brain is the center or the anchor of the mental body. The brain itself sends signals to the rest of the body that are not thoughts. This function of the brain is physical, not mental.


As far as the thinking part of the brain, it is divided into two kinds of thinking. One side thinks linearly and the other expansively. We usually associate this with the left side - linear, formulaic, analytical, and the right side expansive, creative, visionary.


Fear is a product of thinking. The response happens in the amygdala portion of the brain. The amygdala looks like two almonds deep in the brain. When the right side is stimulated, a fear response arises. I imagine that fear is expansive and unsuppressed on the right side of the mind. They believe the left amygdala contributes to the brain’s reward system. That is why fear is so powerful. We can get a reward response to our fear. It makes sense because survival is a big reward and that is the reason for the fear.


Fear is an important function of the mental body. It has a purpose. Each of the four bodies, mental, emotional, spiritual, physical - without the support of the other bodies - can run into extremes. We need a balance between the four bodies. For example, the spiritual body has no limits, no boundaries, it doesn’t have any fear, it is connecting and full of love. If we were to stay in that space only, we run the risk of not caring about everyday duties or important things that the mind is spectacular at.


Fear gets tricky because it is often associated with trauma response. Trauma is different.

Having a traumatic experience isn’t trauma. Trauma IS the experience. Trauma is the body’s response to fear either real or imagined, and it can get stuck. This “fear” needs healing. Healing trauma is vital to the ability to choose love over fear.



The emotional body feels childlike to me - innocent. Emotions when separated from thoughts are so pure. And, it’s childlike because it needs a buddy at all times.


In order to really understand our emotions, we need to understand the thoughts that create them or the physical sensations we actually feel in the body. I’m still on a mission to really understand the emotional body all by itself. Love is an emotion that hints at the soul of the emotional body. When we are in a state of love, we are not thinking thoughts as much as we are fully experiencing. This feels 100% emotional to me.


All the emotions are important to the emotional body. As babies, we were feeling emotions long before thought processes were happening. As a child, we were taught that emotions were acceptable or unacceptable. I believe we have really undervalued the emotional body.


Fear and love are simply the responsibilities of two different bodies. When we understand that then choosing love over fear becomes a little more clear.


2. The second aspect is love transforms fear depletes.


When we love someone, and, they die for example, our love doesn’t die, it transforms. Where fear loses its potency. When you look back at something you feared the strength of that fear is not the same. (remember that trauma is different. This is one way to know the difference between fear and trauma)


The idea that fear needs a scoot and love is the answer gets a little complicated when we bring dislike into the equation. Does my dislike of something equal fear? If I dislike something am I afraid of it?


Here’s the answer:

Fear looks for evidence and proof - a mental function

Love doesn’t need proof - non-mental.


If I don’t like something it is because I love something else. That is different from fear.

We need to use all four bodies to identify when we are in fear, when we are in trauma, and when we are in love. The sensations of the body are vital. They are communicating the information. Love and fear feel different. Love connects us fear separates us.


A scientific study in 1972 concluded that “All organisms, even single-cell organisms, must have the capacity to detect and respond to significant stimuli in order to survive. Bacteria, for example, approach nutrients and avoid harmful chemicals”

(Macnab and Koshland, 1972)


Love transforms, fear depletes.


3. The Third understanding of love over fear is, it takes love to overcome fear.

Love is more than a feeling, it is a power. Personally, when I hear about dark energy or this force that seems to hold things together, but we cannot detect it yet, I think that dark energy is really the power of love. I think love is woven in the fabric of the universe.


Sometimes...most times, we need love from another to be able to transform fear.

I am trained in all sorts of modalities but when I need some healing I need someone there. Maybe as a witness, I don’t know but maybe it's because they can hold a place of love that my fear won’t allow.


There are times when we must hold the place of love for another and there are times when we need to reach out and receive love. Make love a spiritual practice, a mental practice, an emotional practice, and practice connecting to the feeling or sensation of love in the body.


Love overcomes fear.

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